I need some advice on the girl i love..........?

ok, ill keep this as brief as possible.





I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years, We have an 18 month old daughter. We split up about 10 months ago but still live together. anyway, i have agreed to move out and will be renting a room with a mate but..........i still love her and its killing me. She has basically said she dosent feel the same about me and thinks that if i move out there may be a chance in the future of getting back together.





when we split up it didnt really bother me at first but its only now that the situation is killing me!! she has said that ive been pushing her away for a while (i didnt realise) for example when she was pregnant i kept going out getting drunk with my mates leaving her home on her own, gambling and losing money and not being able to be a decent boyfriend and buy her nice things, days out etc and i used to say nasty things to her (even tho i didnt mean it but it is the only way i can control my anger)





it sounds petty but basically the thing that is killing me the most is the fact its taken me this bloody long to realise what an idiot i have been. its also made me realise what i had (although now its gone) and every day i wake up worried that she will find someone else.





My feelings for her are way stronger than they ever were before but i just need to somehow show her that:





1) ive changed (trust me i have)


2) that i love her (id marry her in an instant)





but i have this horrible feeling its too late.





I have told her i love her, that i have changed, that ive got a different outlook etc etc but she says its too late.





Having said all of this.........we have sex (occasionly) and if she really didnt wanna be with me would she still have sex with me?? she also asks me if i want to go shopping with her and round her mums for dinner...........I feel like she may be using me (in a weird way) but i dont seem strong enough to say no because i love her so much.





ive never posted a question so i feel like a bit of an idiot and i know this is very vague but any advice from a girls point of view would be appreciated.





P.S i think i might be losing the plot because im starting to think of ways to make her jealous so that i can see for myself if she actually still loves me.....pathetic i know but is this normal??





im so gutted i think ive lost the best thing ive ever had and its all my fault.......makes me feel sick to the stomach to think that one day she will have a new boyfriend......help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I need some advice on the girl i love..........?
well if you Truly love her than find some way to show it, a way to show that you still have such strong feelings and how you have changed if she doesn't take you back im sorry i really wish you the best of luck and i hope she takes you back and everything